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Post by jlschlangen on Oct 8, 2012 7:35:02 GMT -6
I am a person who asks ?'s often. It drives dh crazy. I answer ppls ?'s b4 they are able to finish the sentence. Plus I almost always know where something is in the house and it also drives dh & the kids crazy. Though they do like it.
Dh & I know it is going to be a bad habit I have to break. Anyone have any ideas of how to break this habit?
Note: For instance I ask dh what he is doing or what are you going to do? He dislikes it.
TIA
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Post by jrose on Oct 8, 2012 7:41:31 GMT -6
I honestly don't see anything wrong with asking questions....I almost always ask DH what is he doing if he gets off the couch or if he's been out of a room for awhile. I'm just a curious person! The only thing that kind of annoys him is when I don't understand a movie and I'm constantly asking questions....I have learned to not do that as much lol. I really have no feedback other than I think there is nothing wrong with knowing what your dh is doing or going etc....
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Oct 8, 2012 8:13:53 GMT -6
I'm with jrose. I don't see why you inquiring about his life seems to be an issue for him. You guys are a team and function best if working as one.
However, if that's what is part of what makes your relationship work then I guess for the next 30 days I would try to be more in tune to what you say. Spend a week trying to catch those things and determine what part of it drives DH crazy. Even though question asking is part of it, flat out ask him what it is about your questions that he hates the most. Then I would take a deep breath before you say something and evaluate your thoughts. Most of us like to 'word vomit' (speak before we think). Sometimes all it takes is that extra breath to decide what to say or if it is worth it.
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Post by ReneeW on Oct 8, 2012 9:27:56 GMT -6
Jodi, if it's really bugging your DH I can see why, even though we ladies are like "Big deal!!" you may want to try to change, just to be considerate of your DH's feelings. I like Cyndy's advice of taking a deep breath first and thinking, "Do I know the answer already?" or "Do I really need to know exactly what my DH is doing at this exact moment?" As far as interrupting other people, that can come across as rude. Even though you are brilliant  and know the answer, I would try to wait for the person to finish. What you could do is wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it, hard, every time you find yourself interrupting. Or you could tell your family that every time you interrupt, you have to give them $10 on the spot. (You'll have to get a bunch first) - that's a tough one because it can get expensive fast, but because it will get expensive it should "cure" you quickly!!! OK those are my ideas. |
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Post by jlschlangen on Oct 8, 2012 9:30:30 GMT -6
Those are good ideas ladies I will have to change & think about those responses. Thanks ladies.
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Post by dara1012 on Oct 8, 2012 9:49:30 GMT -6
I would guess that maybe you ask a lot of questions and want to find out how he is doing b/c you are alone during the day while the kids are at school and DH is at work and when they get home you are excited to have people to talk to.
My DH gets like that now that he works from home and I spend my whole day surrounded by people many of whom are asking me questions and sometimes my phone is ringing off the hook. When I get home some days I am exhausted and I don't want to talk, I just want quiet. DH and DS are constantly asking questions or wanting to talk to me and it is overwhelming....that might be what is happening for your DH.
I would suggest trying some of what the other ladies suggested and maybe giving DH some time to come home and unwind before launching into questions and conversations. Maybe you can find some outlets during the day to get that adult interaction. Find another mom in your kids' class to meet for coffee or other opportunities to be around people.
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Post by jlschlangen on Oct 8, 2012 20:43:36 GMT -6
Good idea Dara thanks.
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and know the answer, I would try to wait for the person to finish. What you could do is wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it, hard, every time you find yourself interrupting. Or you could tell your family that every time you interrupt, you have to give them $10 on the spot. (You'll have to get a bunch first) - that's a tough one because it can get expensive fast, but because it will get expensive it should "cure" you quickly!!!