|
Post by doeeyedgirl on Oct 17, 2011 11:59:59 GMT -6
Ok, so I just need to vent for a moment. About a month ago or more, I asked my mom if she would watch DS2 on Saturday, for the night. It's mine and the BF's anniversary. I wanted for us to have the chance to do some Christmas shopping together and to go out to Benihana for dinner. It's mine and his favorite place to eat. Not really a kid atmosphere, plus it's our anniversary!
To give you a background, my mom rarely watches my kids. She is always too busy, which I can generally understand. But then when I do ask her, as the day approaches, it's conversations filled with guilt trips about going out and questions of when I'm going to be home and comments of "you need to pick him up right away in the morning because I have stuff I need to do". Really? Why do you offer if you really don't want to watch him? I have had two weekends away from my DS2 since he was born...3 1/2 years ago. One, I almost didn't go because my mom was watching him and up until she showed up (late by the way) she gave me the guilt trip about going. The second weekend, my ex MIL watched him ( she is DS1's grandmother, but has taken in my second child as her own grandchild).
So, I received the same conversation this morning, since Saturday is drawing near. When I told BF about this, he says, "Well why don't we just say forget it and take Jaxson with? We don't have to go to Benihana." Am I being selfish in the fact that I want us to have one dinner out without kids for our special occasion? I love love love that he enjoys spending time with my kids. He's amazing like that, but I just wanted one night out. That's why I planned it weeks ago. Now I'm feeling like it's just not even worth it.
Anyway....again...thanks for letting me rant, ladies. Thank God you are here!
|
|
|
Post by gwensmama9206 on Oct 17, 2011 12:10:21 GMT -6
DH & I are going out this weekend for our anniversary too! You def. deserve a night out just for you and BF! It's good to have an adult night out every once in a while and nobody should make you feel guilty about it! I'm sorry hun I feel ya on that one, my mom pulls the same crap. (Which is one of the many reason I rarely ever talk to her) Is there anyone else who could watch him?
|
|
|
Post by love on Oct 17, 2011 12:14:37 GMT -6
My mom does the same thing. BUT she watches my nephew all the time. So when I get around to asking her she says she is exhausted and can't since she is worn out from him. WTH? ugh!!! I feel your pain. I always get the negative tude too from her. I call to check in and she says, he didnt eat, he woke earylier then I told her he would, he this and that. So then I rush over to pick him up and feel the guilt. My step mom on the other hand tells me what an angel he has been, he ate amazing and was really well behaved. She even tells me to have a good time and to relax. I'm sorry hun. Something I have noticed helps to put her in the place is say " well mom you agreed to it a while ago and we were looking forward to it since we have not been out by ourselves for awhile" Hang in there hun!!
|
|
|
Post by cissy on Oct 17, 2011 12:17:02 GMT -6
Send him my way, the boys and I will be home.
|
|
|
Post by jess7882 on Oct 17, 2011 12:34:35 GMT -6
I hear ya! My family lives in Iowa, and DH's family lives close by but there is always some kind of excuse. We need a big mom exchange group or something!!
|
|
|
Post by laurac on Oct 17, 2011 12:40:58 GMT -6
I'm so sorry. You so deserve to go. Drop him off and try to go and have fun and forget about it. Her life isn't that much more important than yours is. You deserve this.
|
|
|
Post by Sus on Oct 17, 2011 13:04:25 GMT -6
aww dang... that really stinks. I wish I lived closer... But I will have to say this, Doe... I'm sorry, but I think it's time for you to secure a babysitter that you will PAY. You need someone you can trust leaving your children with, AND be able to go out and not be paranoid...
If money is tight and it's hard to pay a sitter and go out for dinner... maybe you can come up with a cheaper dinner option?
Man.. I am really sorry to hear that.... good luck!
|
|
|
Post by jessijo on Oct 17, 2011 13:09:28 GMT -6
You DO deserve a kid free night to enjoy with your BF!!! My mother is similar. I thought I was the only one whose parents never wanted to watch the grandkids! My mom never offers to watch my kids and I have to ask her. On the rare occasions I do need her - I give her 2 months notice. Then she keeps asking me why I need her to take my kids. Who cares - I want to say - spend some time with your grandkids!! But she will take my brothers' 2 kids at the drop of a hat and tell everyone what a great time they all had together. I don't know what the deal is with grandparents now. My grandma loved having me and my brother over and would just pick us up anytime she needed to see us.
|
|
|
Post by laurac on Oct 17, 2011 13:20:50 GMT -6
And I agree with Susan...
|
|
|
Post by nevaehsmom327 on Oct 17, 2011 14:19:46 GMT -6
I say go! Every mom needs a night out!
|
|
|
Post by doeeyedgirl on Oct 17, 2011 17:28:52 GMT -6
I'm glad that I am not the only one that deals with this, but saddened that this many others are. I remember, just like other posters that my grandma always wanted to spend time with me. But she was a homemaker and times have changed.
I don't have an issue at all with paying a babysitter. I just haven't been able to find one that my 3 1/2 year old is comfortable with. We deal with severe separation anxiety so he deals with people who have been around him better than someone he is unfamiliar with. And I don't know anyone in the area. I know there are websites, like care.com, but I don't really feel too comfortable with them.
I know things will work out and whether we go or not, the weekend will be enjoyable. Just frustrating at times.
|
|
|
Post by laurac on Oct 17, 2011 18:08:55 GMT -6
My DD was the same way as far as being comfortable. It was SO hard to find a sitter and once we did we used her all the time! I feel your pain in that respect!
|
|
|
Post by deannemdm on Oct 18, 2011 14:00:26 GMT -6
Turn the guilt around and ask her why it seems she does not really want to watch her grandkids then maybe add esp when ex MIL seems to have no problems other than occasional scheduling issues, (or whatever is the reason she can't do it more?)
|
|
Back to the Top