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Post by sarahisis on Aug 8, 2013 13:37:39 GMT -6
P has been worse than ever lately with his behavior... not listening, back talking and sometimes trying to over speak me when I'm trying to explain to him why his behavior is not appropriate. The tantrums... even in public have been embarrassing. ( I usually just leave if I can.) A couple days ago he took off on me in a parking lot.
What did you do to combat this kind of behavior? taking toys away? time outs? loss of privilege? When does it end and where did my sweet boy go??
:0/
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Post by danikasmom on Aug 8, 2013 13:46:56 GMT -6
Have you done a sticker chart for when he has good behavior? This always works for me with my child care kids. I hate having to say no and give timeouts all day, but when you point out the good the bad behavior goes away. You can make your own chart or buy them at the dollar store or office store. I have kids from age 5 and down. Once their chart is filled they get to pick out a treat to bring home to eat. I have fruit snacks or mini candy bars for them. I would pick out a treat you don't normally have so it is special to get it. Each chart is different and you can pick out home many stickers you want them to earn. I usually do 20. Some days are better then others. This helps and they like to point out when others are doing good too. Good luck!!
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Post by betherin on Aug 8, 2013 13:51:28 GMT -6
The three's have been absolutely terrible with my ODS too! I remember my niece and nephews going through similar phases at three and magically improving when they turned four. I'm hoping that will help...in the mean time we do a lot of talking (and modeling) of appropriate and inappropriate behavior, losing privileges when it fits and time outs. Let's hope four really is a magic number though!
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Post by sarahisis on Aug 8, 2013 13:53:28 GMT -6
I have tried the sticker chart multiple times for good behavior, but he couldn't care less. I just started a chore chart with stickers and he's saving up to go to the big zoo... so he's helpful, but defiant also...
Ive tried charts, and time outs (but there really isn't a good place to do that in my house) and talking to him, with no relief.
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Post by dara1012 on Aug 8, 2013 13:57:05 GMT -6
We did a sticker chart. It worked well for DS, talking back meant no sticker he had the opportunity to earn stickers for good behavior in the morning and evening. He could earn extra stickers for special chores. But his basic chores and expectations in morning and evening were worth a sticker. Talking back and tantrums meant no sticker just as not getting his stuff done. He would get really upset too if he didn't get his sticker and we would talk about why.
We also did time outs in his room. Sometimes it meant holding the door shut.
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Post by jrose on Aug 8, 2013 14:39:24 GMT -6
Threes are the worst! DD1 got way better at 4 then she turned 5 an a whole other attitude came out. DD2 turns 4 on Monday and has gotten a lot better in the last couple of months. Time outs and just walking away and ignoring the crying helped us. It would stop after a couple of minutes once she knew that we weren't going to give into her. DD1 was worse than her sister. Being consistent in the time outs helped out some, turning her attention onto something else if we could, and not going too far off her routine helped. We also have the glitter jar that would help her calm down if she wouldn't stop. She would shake it and watch the glitter fall...it surprisingly helped and we just recently brought it back out for her 5 yr old tantrums and if she can't find her jar watch out!
I found the glitter jar on pinterest. It's a mason jar with water w/ food coloring of her fave color and glitter glue! Shake and tell them to watch until all the glitter falls.
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Post by Samantha on Aug 8, 2013 15:16:38 GMT -6
My daughter was the same way at age 3.. I tell you.. screw terrible two's, three is way worse! My daughter was hyper, defiant and had a bad temper. After trying all sorts of things like rewarding good behavior (stickers, treats charts), taking things away, time outs.. etc.. I finally decided that as long as she would not behave, she would not get fun things. No trips to the store (as long as dad or someone was home to stay with her). If we did go do something or go somewhere I did the same thing I did when she was little and throwing temper tantrums.I'd give her 2 warnings that she wasn't behaving, after those two warnings I'd quietly drop what we were doing and we'd leave (this would sometimes require me dragging her or carrying her out, whatever was quicker and most effective) and we'd go home and she'd go straight into her room as that was the ONLY place I could get her to stay put. I did this EVERY time she became disrespectful or out of control. She usually had a HUGE meltdown in her room for the first few times, I just waited until she stopped. Once she calmed down THEN we talked about the WHY we went home and WHY she was sent to her room. I even made her answer questions about her behavior after she was calm so she knew what she did. After a month or two, I'd give her warnings and she gets herself under control. She even points out other kids bad behaviors and apologizes when she says something disrespectful.
I also think it might be a phase a lot of kids go through. It seems like they're big enough and strong enough and smart enough to deliberately test the boundaries and see HOW they can get what they want. I think consistency is key, even if it doesn't seem like it's immediately effective. Also remember, your kids mirror your behavior - if you don't stay calm or at least check your temper, they won't either. My daughters temper is EXACTLY like mine and I've been working hard to cool mine or at least not show it.
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Post by bunsy on Aug 8, 2013 16:04:31 GMT -6
3 is harder than 2. 2 is developmentally challenging. 3 year olds know how to push buttons and sometimes do it purposefully.
Consistency, consistency, consistency. It is SO annoying and exhausting but the consequence has to happen EVERY time no matter where you are. They have to know that the behavior will NEVER work or they'll keep trying.
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Post by megan1201 on Aug 8, 2013 19:28:31 GMT -6
Sorry to break it to you, but so far, 4 has been just as bad as 3. DS is constantly not listening, talking back, doing things he knows are naughty, being mean to DD... it's exhausting.
I am going to test the sticker chart and glitter jar techniques and hopefully one of those will work for him. Good luck Sarah!
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Post by sarahisis on Aug 8, 2013 20:33:47 GMT -6
I'm going to make a glitter jar too... I put a small stool in a corner near the back door and told him it was his time out seat. I had to use it once tonight and he stayed there til he calmed down. I'll try again tomorrow. I told him it was where he was going to be going when he didn't listen, talked back or was purposely doing something unsafe. Only time will tell.
Preston really likes the chore chart though..and seeing how much he helps.. he's proud of himself. And it kinda keeps him busy... and feeling like a big boy; helping mom with things Ella can't. Maybe your ds would respond well to a big boy helping chart too Megan? It might alleviate some of the meanness toward his sister.
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Post by megan1201 on Aug 8, 2013 21:33:30 GMT -6
He is usually pretty good with helping out around the house without the chart. He likes to sweep the floor and help with dishes and laundry, he will put all of his own clothes away and it is his job to do the silverware and other items he can reach. He does much better if he has a "project" to do. Getting him to clean up his room is another story lol. Might be worth a try though!
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Post by sarahisis on Aug 9, 2013 11:03:43 GMT -6
I've had to use his "timeout seat" (now being called a quiet spot) once today.. he went right over, sat for his five minutes while he calmed himself down and when I went to get him he said he was ok and ready to go play. I think I'm realizing that most of his "poor behavior" is not from "bad behavior" but more over emotional reactions to change and not getting what he wants; and he can't seem to calm himself down. This has been too easy, still keeping my fingers crossed that this is something that will work for him!
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