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Post by doeeyedgirl on Mar 15, 2012 8:47:34 GMT -6
So I read somewhere on Pinterest (where I seem to spend a lot of my work days. LOL) about this new book called, "MWF seeking BFF". Here is a blurb to tell you a little about it: When Rachel Bertsche first moves to Chicago, she’s thrilled to finally share a zip code, let alone an apartment, with her boyfriend. But shortly after getting married, Bertsche realizes her new life is missing one thing: friends. Sure, she has plenty of BFFs—in New York and San Francisco and Boston and Washington DC. Yet in her adopted hometown, there’s no one to call at the last minute for girl-talk over brunch or a reality TV marathon over a bottle of wine. Taking matters into her own hands, Bertsche develops a plan: she’ll go on fifty-two friend-dates, one per week for a year, in hopes of meeting her new Best Friend Forever.
In her thought-provoking, uproarious memoir, Bertsche blends the story of her girl-dates (who she meets everywhere from improv class to friend-rental websites) with the latest in social research to examine how difficult—and hilariously awkward—it is to make new friends as an adult. She asks why women will happily announce they need a man but are embarrassed to admit they need a BFF. And she uncovers the reality that no matter how great your love life, you’ve gotta have friends.Lately, I have been in this funk. Thinking about past friendships, why they didn't last, why it's so hard to make new friends and mostly missing that sporadic companionship. I miss that one person I can call just to tell them about the stupid thing I just did and to laugh about it. Or the person I can call when I am feeling frustrated about a recent argument with the DF. Or even a friend that I can ask to be my Maid of Honor or to just go out and celebrate my upcoming wedding. I have had a lot of ups and downs and have cut myself off from a lot of my past friends due to their toxic friendships. It left me with one. She lives in Wisconsin. So why do you think that it's so hard to make friends? What would you do? Would you be as brazen as the girl in this book? Have you read the book? Anybody want to be my BFF? LOL!
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Post by healerarina on Mar 15, 2012 9:05:15 GMT -6
I need friends too. I have never gotten along well with other women. My BFF moved away after 9th grade, I made some friends later, but not too many. Now that I am a SAHM, I rarely get out at all. I haven't read the book, but I totally need girlfriends to hang out with and go shopping with.
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Post by fungirls on Mar 15, 2012 9:30:34 GMT -6
The book sounds like a great read, and something a lot of us can relate to! They were just talking about this on KS95 the other morning - the female DJ moved here from down south somewhere in October, and hasn't been able to make friends. Someone said that in MN people are nice and friendly to you, but don't want to be your friend.
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Mar 15, 2012 9:33:26 GMT -6
I listen to the same morning show. Everyone seems to get in their comfort zone and doesn't want to burst that bubble. I understand to a point, but now being the outsider I kind of don't. LOL!
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Post by smalltowngirl5 on Mar 15, 2012 9:44:03 GMT -6
I will be the first to admit, I'm terrible at making friends. I am not very outgoing and tend to keep to myself. I would not be able to do what the author of the book did, there is no way.
I think it is hard to make friends because we get caught up with our kids and the day to day activities and focus so much of our energy on that, we kind of forget about our need for a good friend.
I am trying to be better and have met a couple of really great moms who have kids the same age as mine, but miss having that great friend that will always be there with no judgements.
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Post by fungirls on Mar 15, 2012 10:01:27 GMT -6
I understand too, and have only a couple good friends. We're still not at the point where we even talk daily (one of them is at work so I talk with her the most, but sometimes that's not even every day). I would love to have more close friends as well.
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Post by cissy on Mar 15, 2012 10:18:50 GMT -6
CALL ME! You still have my number right?
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Mar 15, 2012 10:21:26 GMT -6
I do have your number! I will do that. We definitely need to get together when we can. Things will for surely slow down after the wedding. Maybe I should throw a 'girl date' party. LOL! Seems like we are all in the same boat. Seems silly for us to feel sad about it together when we could all be each others BFFs.
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Post by cissy on Mar 15, 2012 10:23:47 GMT -6
And if you are busy and have no time to talk you can always just send a text.
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Post by sarahisis on Mar 15, 2012 11:49:43 GMT -6
I can relate. I am a MN transplant and my BFF's are all in NY and FL. I've met a lot of great gals through MLM however that I have grown to consider really good friends and always look forward to seeing them and their kiddos! It's really hard to put yourself out there initially.. even a little uncomfortable, but sometimes it's just necessary lol Next time we do some playdates at parks or zoos or a moms night or wherever I'll let ya know!
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Post by megan1201 on Mar 15, 2012 11:54:26 GMT -6
I completely understand... my bff fell in love and married a marine and moved to Japan for 3 years She will be back in the states this summer but will be living in Carolina. My other close friends kind of drifted after I had DS.
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Mar 15, 2012 12:06:06 GMT -6
I moved down here 6 years ago from the Brainerd area. Not far, but apparently too far to keep a lot of friends. I get almost jealous sometimes because my DF is from down here and he has a massively large group of people that he associates with. I try to socialize with the girls, but it's difficult. I pretty shy and it's hard to figure out what to conversate about. And the ones I tried to befriend seem to be the pot-stirrers for the group and I don't really want to be part of that. Drama is not my favorite game.
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Post by supermommy on Mar 15, 2012 12:53:31 GMT -6
I am in the same boat...pretty much completely friendless. It is very very hard to make friends when I don't get out much.
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Post by love on Mar 15, 2012 12:58:46 GMT -6
You know im here! My best advice is to join clubs in your area. Search for groups. It is easy to get someones number but acting on it is what people always dont follow through with. Make your self open! If you meet a mom set up plans then, rather then I will check my calendar this weekend and get back to you! It will never happen. I feel sometimes at new relationships you kinda have to be willing to make the first move. Go to a busy park in the area, talk to moms and maybe exchange numbers. Text her later that evening. Everyone needs friends, sadly it isnt as easy as it once was for us to make them!
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Post by dara1012 on Mar 15, 2012 14:47:02 GMT -6
When I first moved to MN I felt the same way. I would totally agree w/ Love. I joined the Saint Paul Jaycees which is a leadership development org focused on volunteering in the community. I have developed so many wonderful friendships through this. It is harder to be heavily involved in volunteering with work and DS now, but those friendships have lasted and maintained beyond the organizations. If there is something you like to do join a club for it (I also belong to a book club which I love). or if your kids are involved in sports talk to the other moms on the sidelines, it feels odd at first, but I have had great conversations with other moms at swim lessons once I get up the nerve to say hi.
Good luck!
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