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Post by bumblebee23 on Apr 23, 2012 11:41:27 GMT -6
I posted something on facebook about this. My kids often ask me why we don't go to church or pray before we eat and I don't really have an answer for them besides we don't. So I am thinking I am going to have to take them. I have been a major cynic I guess you could call it about this whole religious thing. I'm still not very sure I feel comfortable with this decision but it's something my boys seem to want to do so I think I need to give them that opportunity.
I am/was catholic. I was baptised and had my first communion. My family wasn't the type that went to church either, and if I am completely honest when I was in my CCD classes I was told that god only gives you as much as you can handle or some such thing like that and that's when I decided their couldn't possibly be a god because if there where he would never had made a child go through the things I had to go through....that was in 6th grade. I had also come to the conclusion that a lot of what they taught wasn't the truth.
Anway, I was speaking to Vic and her church sounds like something I would be ok with. They don't talk down to you and they play contemporary music and so forth. I think this could be a good stepping stone for what I am about to do. I have WANTED to beleive in god. I like the message of having something to beleive in, mircles that happen, gardian angels, the love and warmth that so many people talk about in association with god. I guess I am just a little scared because I have not let myself beleive in god for a very long time. I beleived that he let me down just like everyone else. Maybe I am just going because I feel like I have been dealt a crappy hand and maybe not going to church is part of that and maybe I don't want my kids to be as angry as me when they are adults.
I hope I am not offending anyone with my post. Just trying to be honest and maybe hoping for a little encouragment. Thanks!
UPDATE:
Ok so we still haven't started church. However, the boys will be starting Bible classes on Wednesdays starting tomorrow at a baptist church close to our house. A few co-workers go to that church. I like how it is close by and they have given me a lot of info about the church itself. I however, am not quite ready to start attending. I think it has more to do with my anxiety then it really does my faith....or lack thereof anyway.
Anyway, Wednesdays are going to be super busy days for us being the boys don't get home until 5:15 and me about 5:25. Thankfully the church serves a free dinner on Wednesdays so I don't have to worry about having time to get they something to eat. They are excited, my youngest more then my oldest, and I am excited for them. Maybe one day I will finally have enough courage to go myself but until now at least they have the opportunity to explore religion for themselves.
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Post by ReneeW on Apr 23, 2012 12:16:27 GMT -6
I think that your message reflects what a lot of people feel who have "fallen away" from their faith. (HUGS) What I would say is ... try out different churches, see what resonates with you, and go in with an open mind that you'll try out a few places and just see how it goes. No pressure!
My church is in the Western 'burbs and I must say I love its message -- it's about inclusivity (NOT judging other people), about how God wants to have a relationship with you, he loves you no matter what. Bad things happen in this world, and it's not your fault in any way, shape, or form. God isn't punishing people when bad things happen to them -- in fact, he's WITH you and grieving with you. I liked the book "Letters from a Skeptic" -- it's a book of letters between a father and his son ... the father doesn't believe in God and his son is a pastor. It's a good read!
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Post by jrose on Apr 23, 2012 12:48:34 GMT -6
I feel the same way you do about the whole church thing....I'm kind of dreading the time when they start asking questions about it. They have gone to their grandpa's church since he's a pastor but they went down to the basement and played with other kids and I'm sure didn't get told about it. I know DH & I will be completely honest with them and will be open to taking them to church if they are curious about it and let them decide on their own from there. I think it's great that your willing to let your kids explore that option! Good Luck
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Post by dara1012 on Apr 23, 2012 13:51:36 GMT -6
To me, faith is a journey and not going to church doesn't mean you don't have faith and struggling with things that happen in life doesn't mean you don't have faith or that there isn't a God. If you feel that re-exploring your beliefs and your faith feels right to you, then do that. Only you can know what is right for you in relationship to faith, it really is a personal journey and I don't feel that you should be told what to believe or not believe.
good luck!
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Post by bumblebee23 on Apr 23, 2012 14:20:19 GMT -6
Thanks ladies. I guess I really just needed to know I wasn't alone in this and that it is ok to be unsure before I start on this journey. I would do anything for my boys and if that means going to church then that is what I will do. Maybe it is a kinda sign that I am ready to explore this again. Thank you so much for your support!
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Apr 23, 2012 14:33:16 GMT -6
Ahhhh....I love vic! We both go to Substance and absolutely love it there. They don't talk down to you. They simplify things in ways to be able to understand God...and it's honestly a fun place to go. The kids connection is wonderful!! They have so much fun and they're able to learn about God too. I can understand how you feel. Church is scary. Especially for people who grew up with "Christians" trying to throw it in your face and ring it down your throat and saying things that just AREN'T "Christian". I think for ANYONE who is kind of considering going to church...the church we attend is a great stepping stone. It's a laid back atmosphere with a HUGE age range of people. It offers the regular service on Sundays, as well as a huuuuge variety of groups to get involved with that can help you on your journey. Before every "service" or sermon they do worship that's more like a concert than your typical "pick up your hymn book and turn to song 102". It can be intimidating at first...but shoot, just let Vic or I know you're going and we'll meet you there, sit with you, go out for coffee after. Whatever. But, Like dara said....it's a journey. Only you can know what is right. If you feel bringing your kids to church is the right thing to do...it may be. You never know where He could be leading you. I'm really not trying to be pushy pushy about the situation...but it really excites me that you are thinking about coming to our church! All I can say is, don't knock it til you've tried it. Church today is much different then it was 10, 15, 20 years ago. I hope you do come!
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Post by deannemdm on Apr 23, 2012 16:07:45 GMT -6
A great book to read is called "So you don't want to go to church anymore" which is nothing what like it sounds. It is about developing a relationship with your higher power rather than being caught up in the minutia (?) of a "church" -- this may be helpful to you and maybe in deciding what you really want or need from a church community.
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Post by sharon on Apr 23, 2012 17:36:16 GMT -6
Faith can often be a very curvy journey. I think it's great that you are honest with your children about your feelings and your doubts. I hope you find a spiritual home that feels right, if that is what is right for you.
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Post by merrr on Apr 23, 2012 20:48:48 GMT -6
I struggle with church too. I wasn't born and raised in the Christian religion. I never had Christmas morning as a child. I remember being laughed at on the playground when I asked my friend how to spell Christmas. But I was okay with it then. It made me different and in the small town I was in, I liked being different. I left the religion I was raised in after I was married. When they asked why I was leaving it I found a way to politely tell them it was between me and God and wasn't any of their business. Since then I've wondered about religion from time to time. We sent DD to a Catholic school and she choose to be baptized and go through her first communion and I was SO proud of her for doing that. But I've never been baptized... If I was still in Michigan I know which church I would go to. I'd go to the church I married my husband in, the one with the Reverend that everyone knew and respected, the one who was married to the high school home economics teacher. But here I'm lost. The Catholic school and church was nice to give DD a base for a religious belief but she's lost interest in it. DH hasn't ever gone to a church service I didn't drag him to. I think I'd like to be baptized but... Finding a church here is such an overwhelming process and it's not high on my priority list. I know I'm rambling. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to steal your post. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this.
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Post by sharon on Apr 24, 2012 4:58:19 GMT -6
Merr maybe you could join someone from here at their church one Sunday? I think it's less overwhelming if you go as someone's guest and there are ladies here who talk about so many wonderful churches. I know someone would welcome you to join her.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Apr 24, 2012 8:23:21 GMT -6
Wow thanks ladies for being so understanding. Amy I didn't realize you and Vic went to the same church! I think from what you described to me I might feel very comfortable there. I think I will talk it over with my boys again and we can set up a plan....it would also be nice to have someone that I know there!
Sharon thank you....yes I always try to be honest with the boys. Probably due to the fact that as I grew up I felt as if all the adults in my life where always lieing to me and then telling me they didn't feel like they could explain it to a child and have me understand. So I try to tell them the truth in ways they can process it.
Merr- No problem steal away! I posted this in part to know that I wasn't the only one to feel this way.....maybe we could go to church together if you want! Support in numbers right? Love you girl!
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Post by sarahisis on Apr 24, 2012 8:47:06 GMT -6
I also wanted to throw this out there... a lot of churches offer live streaming of their Sunday services. The church my hub and I used to go to before wemoved was Emmanuel Christian Center in Fridley. We loved it!! It's current, and relevent. They offer video sermons on their website so people can check them out! Here's the link for this church but I bet you could find more if you googled. www.emmanuelcc.org/video
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Post by cakemakermom on Apr 24, 2012 10:09:43 GMT -6
I suggest thinking about what you believe in. Do you want to go to a church that is strict or one that allows you to do things like dancing and playing cards? Do you believe in loving one another or that the bible is strict in what should be followed and that sin should be frowned upon? Then I suggest going to the churches by yourself to get the feel of the membership before bringing the kids. You are allowed to talk to the pastors (ministers, whatever depending on the type of church) to see what they are preaching, how strict they are about things you think should be allowed and how the kids would be taught. Do they have child classes or do they just expect them to get it by going to the services? I know the UCC is very open, baptizes single mother's children, allows gay people to participate in every aspect of the church and is pretty open about pretty much everything.. you know, the biggest thing we should all be doing regardless of which religion or no religion should be doing... Love one another as we should be loving ourselves. www.ucc.org/ It's a Christian church and I don't mind it. I like the open mindness of that particular church and knows we're all human, but basically goes by the Catholic sermons more or less each week. Similar, but different.
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Post by cakemakermom on Apr 24, 2012 10:11:18 GMT -6
Oh and if you know me, I'm not a church goer anymore for reasons I came to on my own when I turned 30. I don't go into details because of the judgement I always get for it.
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Post by dara1012 on Apr 24, 2012 10:18:25 GMT -6
Cake- I grew up in a UCC church (both my parents are UCC pastors) and go to one in St. Paul. I really like that the UCC is very open and welcoming to everyone. Of course each separate church has it's own "feel", but I have never felt told what to do, it's okay to make mistakes (because everyone does), sermons are relevant to modern day life and you are allowed to ask questions.
If anyone is interested in the UCC (United Church of Christ) I would be happy to answer more questions. It was one of the first protestant denominations to allow women to be ordained, to be open and affirming of homosexuals, to ordain openly gay and lesbian ministers, etc. Two of their recent slogans are "Wherever you are on life's journey you are welcome here" and "Do not place a period where God has placed a comma".
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