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Post by gwensmama9206 on Dec 3, 2012 11:34:49 GMT -6
So I have been thinking about doing this for a couple years and I have finally decided that I want to do it.... I want to move to Colorado. My only set back is the fact that BD refuses to divorce me. He says "he still has feelings for me and wants to try". I just want him out of my life. It's so annoying that he says that crap too Hellooooo, do you think I don't know that you have another girl living with you! Cause that makes me really wanna try. Ugh so dumb. And the fact that he has no interest in being apart of DS's life. It's like he just wants to keep this leash on me. The reason I have not filed is because if HE does it I can get a free attorney, which I NEED! I have no idea even how to fill out the papers or do any of that court stuff. And I'm afraid that if I don't have an attorney I'll screw myself some how. It's just so frustrating. I just want this all to be done with.
What should I do? How can I make him file? I just don't know what to do!!!
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Post by ReneeW on Dec 3, 2012 11:49:37 GMT -6
I tried looking online but I can't see how you can force him to file. (Sigh.) The only thing I can figure is that you could either A) guilt him into it or B) contact his live-in girlfriend and ask HER to pressure him to file. Adultery isn't relevant in MN divorces, so unfortunately that's a moot point.
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Dec 3, 2012 11:51:40 GMT -6
Ugh. Hunny, I SOOOOOO wish I could help you with this. Cause trust me, I know his manipulative ways! As we both know, the d-bag can say one thing, and do another. Do one thing, and say another. He's never the same, never consistent, and never really trustworthy.
I would be careful if you want to move to CO. That can get you into a lot of trouble, maybe. I'm not sure what the rules or laws are when you're still a married couple. But I know if you're not married and have a visitation order, taking the child out of state is an absolute NO! But you may strike out with this one, and be able to just pick up and leave since you are still married. There are usually lawyers who will do free consultations with you to just answer some questions. Call around and get a few of their opinions.
Love you sweety! I really have been praying things get better, for ALL of us!
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Post by dara1012 on Dec 3, 2012 12:04:46 GMT -6
I am not familiar with the legal ramifications of moving out of state, filing for divorce and attorney fees, but just wanted to say that I wish you the best and hope it all works out.
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Post by laurac on Dec 3, 2012 12:09:21 GMT -6
I would think that there is something for free in the County you live in. Check that.
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Dec 3, 2012 12:10:06 GMT -6
I agree with Amy. The best thing you can do is go do a consultation with a lawyer. Quite a few of them will do it for free or a minimum price and you have 30-60 minutes to ask them all the questions that you would like. I am unsure what the details would be if you are currently married, but I do know that if you were married when your DS was born, that your ex does have joint legal and physical custody; which means that without his permission you can get into some serious legal trouble if you take DS out of state. Also, check with Legal Aid. There are plenty of places that will do a Pro Bono case with financial qualifications whether you file first or not. Good luck! I hope that you can put this behind you very soon!
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Post by laurac on Dec 3, 2012 12:11:19 GMT -6
And PS...you'll have to stay on MoMs of MN. Ballerina does!
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Post by gwensmama9206 on Dec 3, 2012 12:21:24 GMT -6
I looked online too and it would definitely not be smart to move until all this crap is taken care of. I would need to get the courts permission to move out of state and work out the visitation for him and DS. I talked to an attorney and she said because of him not being around for DS I will easily get full custody and with everything I told her about BD the best thing for the safety of DS would be to do supervised visitation. Especially since DS doesn't know him at all. He pretty much just likes to play "daddy" if DS happens to be somewhere BD is at. I have not see or heard from him since Ari's funeral and he was being SO annoying. I told him to please leave us alone when I was in the other room because DS was just too restless during the service to be sitting in there. So I had BD following us around. Ugh. Let me tell ya it took a lot of restraint to not just snap on him and be like, f*** off!!! Lol My son is not a prop for you to try and make yourself look good to people. Everyone knows you're a POS. And I know I have plenty of people to testify against him in court which will help me out a TON in this situation. I mean ifiI
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Post by gwensmama9206 on Dec 3, 2012 12:24:43 GMT -6
I looked online too and it would definitely not be smart to move until all this crap is taken care of. I would need to get the courts permission to move out of state and work out the visitation for him and DS. I talked to an attorney and she said because of him not being around for DS I will easily get full custody and with everything I told her about BD the best thing for the safety of DS would be to do supervised visitation. Especially since DS doesn't know him at all. He pretty much just likes to play "daddy" if DS happens to be somewhere BD is at. I have not see or heard from him since Ari's funeral and he was being SO annoying. I told him to please leave us alone when I was in the other room because DS was just too restless during the service to be sitting in there. So I had BD following us around. Ugh. Let me tell ya it took a lot of restraint to not just snap on him and be like, f*** off!!! Lol My son is not a prop for you to try and make yourself look good to people. Everyone knows you're a POS. And I know I have plenty of people to testify against him in court which will help me out a TON in this situation. I mean, if I don't have anyone backing me up on what I'm saying against him the judge could just think I'm a bitter ex wife talking crap. I just want what's best for my son and I feel that he wouldn't be safe around BD. Wow I'm just kinda rambling lol Sorry. It feels good to get all this out though!
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Post by gwensmama9206 on Dec 3, 2012 12:25:36 GMT -6
Oops my stupid phone decided to post before I was done lol ignore the first one please lol
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Post by laurac on Dec 3, 2012 12:25:56 GMT -6
Ask anyone, that's what we're here for!
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Post by gwensmama9206 on Dec 3, 2012 12:27:46 GMT -6
LC, I would NEVER leave MoMs! The city I'm actually looking at moving to is where Ballerina lives too! Crazyness
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Post by laurac on Dec 3, 2012 12:29:06 GMT -6
Oh that would be so great! You guys would be such great face to face friends!
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Post by gwensmama9206 on Dec 3, 2012 12:31:18 GMT -6
Unless I got his permission I could get in trouble for just leaving. I had an attorney because he was going to file. He had the papers done and everything and then just didn't do it. The only way I qualify for a free attorney is if I'm the respondent. I can't file and get a free one. Otherwise I'd have this crap DONE.
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Post by dara1012 on Dec 3, 2012 12:35:05 GMT -6
Another thing to consider....will DD's BD let you take her or would you have to go to court separate for that too.....my guess is you would have to have a reason (like a job or family to help with the kids) in CO to have the courts agree to let you move the kids.
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