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Post by jlschlangen on Nov 21, 2011 10:42:57 GMT -6
The last time we did go to both in one day and we said we would never do that again b/c it was just too hard b/c it was drive there then eat watch the clock & visit for a short time. Try to rush home to eat and traffic was horrendous and we were late to eat.
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Post by sarahisis on Nov 21, 2011 10:52:10 GMT -6
yup.. that's what I was going to say.. Host at your house. It may be crowded but then neither can say that it's their turn to here or there.
And as far as this year with your DH going to his parents house and you going to yours... honestly, it's not that bad of an idea to do once in a while. Last year I took my son out to NY for Thanksgiving and my husband stayed here to be with his family. He couldn't go because of work obligations. He understood that we see my family wayyyy less and that it had been a couple of years since we'd been able to have a holiday with them. I may be in the minority here, but I really wouldn't make a big deal about it... maybe your dh would be willing to do part of the day with both, that way he can travel at his leisure and split up the time as he wants to.
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Post by sarahisis on Nov 21, 2011 10:52:59 GMT -6
I've never seen traffic on Thanksgiving... that'd be a first!! lol
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Post by onlyoneboy on Nov 21, 2011 11:33:43 GMT -6
We have the same issue only with Christmas this year. It was decided along time ago to alternate holidays and my MIL threw a fit because she made other plans for their day with us. Too bad. It took me awhile to convince my DH that plans were already made and we needed to stick with that. He can't make everyone happy all the time and he needs to put his family (meaning me and DS) first. I say stick with the orginal plans and his family will have to do a different day if they want him there.
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Post by apryllraye87 on Nov 21, 2011 11:41:14 GMT -6
I agree with Gwen.
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Post by deannemdm on Nov 21, 2011 11:47:44 GMT -6
We go where we can, mostly to my folks--- my mom's family get together on Xmas eve day for lunch and stuff, but now that both my grandparents are deceased (my grandma last Jan) they are trying to rent a hall and still do stuff. Not sure how that will work. Need to talk to SIL to see if/when she is coming to MN. If she comes we may redo our plans and not go see my folks--they live hour away and SIL in Florida so since his family can't get together much for holidays at all, they get preference. SIl wants to come Xmas every other year and if she can't do any other holidays--- and DH's family doesn't get together otherwise for holidays his family gets preference one hoiliday every other year
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Post by megan1201 on Nov 21, 2011 11:54:09 GMT -6
We do both sides. In the past, we would go to my side for dinner at 2, then DH's side for another dinner/dessert at 6.
This year DH's family is doing an earlier dinner since my SIL has a new serious BF and wants to attend his family's dinner at 4. So all of our families are making it work. DH's side is having dinner at 12:30 and my side was willing to do a later dinner at 4:00 so that DH, DS and I could still attend. It gets to be a long day, but its definitely possible.
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Post by love on Nov 21, 2011 14:44:15 GMT -6
If you guys decided to trade every year why is it even brought up? This is the one thing that irritates me about holidays, no one ever realizes how hard it is to have to go to more then one place- I have to go to 3. Luckily they realize it gets harder with kids and sorry I do not want to travel more then one place in a day. Everyone knows this and if the feelings are hurt I apolize, but some year I want to do things with us 3. I say if the plan is to switch every year then this year you go to your moms. How would your side feel if you guys did that knowing it was their year.
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Post by jlschlangen on Nov 21, 2011 15:55:28 GMT -6
Why does life have to be confusing or frustrating at times?
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Post by ReneeW on Nov 21, 2011 16:12:25 GMT -6
I agree with Love. I think if there's a system in place, that's the deal. Maybe I'm being inflexible but I think that if you have a fair system, that's the way it is--plus if you make changes this year they'll expect that every year you will change for them and then everybody ends up mad.
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Post by sarahisis on Nov 21, 2011 16:14:46 GMT -6
my mom tells me that it's only as frustrating as you make it... I used to hate when she'd say it, but it's absolutely true. Things only tend to get complicated if they are made that way. Tell your family and his straight up that these are the times you can be there.. period. If they put up a fuss, oh well... just do what ya gotta do. someone suggested going to your inlaws in the morning before the meal to visit, eat, then leave shortly after, then have dinner with your fam and stay as long as you want because you don't have to go far to get home. simple.
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Post by angel22 on Nov 21, 2011 16:42:11 GMT -6
Then next year host Thanksgiving yourself. Invite both sets of parents and call it good. If it is important to you to see both sides on Holdays then you find a way to make it work. If your families both want to see you on holidays than they should be willing to bend a little- change the times a little- noon and 5, or 11:30 and 5- little changes but much easier on you guys. Call your MIL and see if she can move dinner to 11:30 then call your mom to see if she will move her dinner to 5 or so. You won't know until you try and you can easily point out how you'd love to see both families and changing the times would make that so much easier.
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Post by vq2011 on Nov 21, 2011 17:09:53 GMT -6
it's really hard to be able to see all families around the holidays. I guess if I were in your situation, I would go with DH to his mothers. You live next door to your parents, and see them ALL the time. DH hardly sees his family, and when we have the opportunity, we take it. I know that it's hard, because you made the agreement when you got married, and I know what it's like to want to spend the time with YOUR family. But truth be told, his family IS YOUR family. ( we are having a blended t-day because we want to be able to do it with his mom, who lives 3 hours north & didn't want my mother to spend the time alone, even though I see her all the time. and with my grandmother, because this could be her last thanksgiving) talk it through with your DH keep an open mind, and sometimes you have to make sacrafices. Good Luck!
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kkj
Bronze
Posts: 55
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Post by kkj on Nov 21, 2011 18:32:57 GMT -6
I don't post much and should probably keep my comments to myself. Sorry can't, You should be thankful that you have family to spend the holiday with. There are many who don't and would love to.
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Post by supermommy on Nov 21, 2011 20:15:06 GMT -6
For me it is an obvious fix. Like others said do both, go early to Dh's side visit and eat and then go to your moms just in time to eat and stay late. We do it every single year that way for us, it is about 1 1/2 hrs from Dh's moms to my moms. It is one day where you have a lot of running...no biggie just do it.
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