How often is your TV on around your kids?

[sweetpeamom25]

I'm wondering how often your TV is on when your children are around? My DH and I are constantly disagreeing about this. We both work full time, so by the time we get home, have dinner, and give our DD (she's 2 yrs. old) a bath (if needed) we have little time with her in the evenings--she goes to bed at 8pm. He likes to have the TV on all the time, says growing up it was on a lot. I don't like to have the TV on a lot, I think we should spend the small amount of time we have with our DD in the evenings, interacting with her.

Awhile ago we made the agreement that the TV wouldn't come on at night until 7:30. It worked for awhile, but if there is a football game on or something else DH wants to watch, then that agreement goes out the window. I used to have weekly shows I watched (the usual, Grey's Anatomy, etc.) and I never watch those anymore, because I don't think the TV should be on a lot. I want my daughter to learn and keep up with other children and I feel like our interaction is a big part of her development.

I like music on via the radio or iPod. He recently said if he can't have the TV on, then I can't have music playing. I disagreed because I don't think the radio takes your attention like the TV does.

We can barely have a calm conversation about this topic because we disagree, we fight about it. I'm curious what other people do or think. Help!!

Oh, and if DH has the TV on, it's not a kids program, it's usually something he wants to watch...once in awhile he'll find Elmo for DD....

[bunsy]

I grew up with the TV on all the time; it was background sound to our lives. Therefore, having it on didn't bother me when my kids were little. They still played. I still played with them. The TV was just on at the same time. I didn't try to "watch" a program while they were around though. DH and I sometimes had issues in that he wanted to watch whatever he wanted to watch and sometimes that just wasn't child appropriate. Otherwise, it wasn't a big deal to me.

We played games, read books, ate, bathed, etc. all with the TV on. Sometimes, I would leave it off and be shocked how quiet it was in the house. But I always ended up turning it back on!

[sharon]

We don't have it on as background. My wife and I will often watch after our son goes to sleep, but during the week it's not on at all when he is awake. During weekend days (or other days off, like winter break) he can watch about 60-90 minutes a day of commercial free tv. Sometimes we do extra like the last couple of days when he's been sick AND it's winter break. But we don't watch things that aren't for him when he's around.

Over break we visited my inlaws and they had football on and such, so in cases like that he sees it commercials and all. Although he covered his eyes for a lot of commercials b/c he gets scared of spooky or violent things and so many commercials, esp during football are one or the other.

We also make an exception on NYE and watch "Dick Clark" and so there are commercials with that. But again, he covered his eyes for most commercials. Other special occasions where we do watch include the Olympics and things like Inauguration or other big historical (but appropriate) events.

[lilmermaid]

I'm with Bunsy. We have it on all the time as the background noise to our lives. My girls don't really watch the all shows that come on. It's always child appropriate. DH watches his shows when the DDs go to bed or in his man cave.

[jrose]

What Bunsy and Lil said!

[cissy]

My tv (in the kitchen) is on all the time unless I am gone or sleeping, the livingroom tv is on in the morning, nap and if my kids want something after the daycare kids leave, they also have tvs in their room so sometimes they go to bed with them on.

[dara1012]

I am more similar to Sharon than the others.

I didn't grow up with a lot of TV, it was never "background" noise, it was only turned on for the purpose of watching a show. We live in a split level and I told DH when we moved in there would be no TV upstairs in the living room, our only TV is in our downstairs den. We don't spend much time down there when DS is awake. He asks to watch TV and we probably average 1 (1/2) hr show a day (more on weekends). DS likes to play violent video games which he has to do in his office w/ the door closed.

My suggestion is that you and DH find a time to talk about this when DD isn't around and you aren't worked up about things (and he isn't defensive). Come up with a reasonable plan that works for both of you. Maybe one night a week you and DD go out somewhere and DH can watch as much TV as he wants. Maybe you play with her in her room, or if your room is bigger, your room. You need to decide what works for both of you and find a compromise for everyone and some ground rules (like no violent TV shows ---in our house we also say no news, because it is often so negative and DS is 4).

[ReneeW]

I'm like Sharon and Deb, too. We have the TV off until the kids go to bed. We DVR any shows we want to watch. The kids watch PBS or Nick Jr shows on occasion--usually a bit on the weekends in the morning. During the week we just don't have the time! DH will have the TV on sometimes for football, too -- like today with the college bowl games on -- but our kiddos are old enough now that they're usually playing and doing other stuff in a room nearby, they're not in front of the TV.

I agree that a compromise sounds like a good idea! You guys can talk about it and figure out what'll be a good balance. And if you need any facts/data to back your perspective, I'm sure that either your pediatrician or day care provider could give you some input--or the American Pediatrics Association website, etc. regarding little tots and TV viewing. Good luck!

[dara1012]

I meant "DH likes to play violent video games" NOT DS! oops!

[sharon]

Oh funny! I totally read it as DH. But now thinking of DS in the office with the door closed...lol.

[dara1012]

It is quite humorous to picture my 4 1/2 yr old, sitting at the computer desk with headphones on to protect his dad from hearing and seeing violence

[betherin]

Our boys get to watch a PBS show 1-3 times a day...usually when they wake up while I'm making breakfast and again when they wake up from nap while I'm starting to get dinner ready.

[apryllraye87]

I'm the same as Bunsy and Lil. We have the TV on almost all the time as background noise. When DS is up it's a kids show or something neutral like AFV. After he goes to bed I watch Netflix or a movie.

[bumblebee23]

We seem to have to TV on all the time. I am ok with that though. My boys are in school, after school, and summer school. In the summer they play outside as long as possible and in the winter tend to be in the house more and will watch a lot more TV. I myself am kind of a TV addict but I am a homebody and that's how I am. If I am not watching TV I am creating TV in my head with books.

My oldest has trouble reading so I don't force him to read instead of watching TV or playing video games. I know there is all kinds of stuff about not having your kids watch more then 20 minutes or so of TV or video games a day or some such crud but I think that's just non-sense. Like I said I keep my kids really busy with school and they are pretty active playing outside with there friends. Yes compared to a lot of people my kids probably watch WAY to much TV but I'm not worried about it.

[megan1201]

It depends on the day for us, but DS usually gets to watch 3 shows a day. One when he wakes up while I feed DD, one after nap time, and one before bed to calm him down. Typically Nick Jr, Disney Jr, or PBS. Sometimes he will pick a show on Netflix to watch. I think that as with anything - moderation is the key. As long as DS still plays and reads every day its not a huge issue. There are days where the TV is on all day, and some days not at all. We DVR the shows we like to watch and will watch them after the kids are in bed.

Maybe you can come up with some type of compromise with your DH about the TV - no strict rules, but suggest that you leave it off or at a very low volume so that it doesn't absorb everyone in the room. You could also sign up for netflix or hulu, that way you can watch your shows after the kids are in bed and it doesn't take away your time from them. Good luck! I've had the same arguments with my DH many times. (He puts the TV on all day for the kids, and I would rather leave it off). Find a compromise and if it doesn't work, try something else!